The Best Things Online To Help You Go And Love Yourself
For the last five years, I’ve always worn a silver necklace. It started with a silver locket, which I found in our attic when I was looking through some of my old things. I know it was from my christening when I was a baby, but I couldn’t tell you who it was from – some old second cousin perhaps? I wore it every day, as a sort of charm, but eventually I lost it. I’m hoping it will turn up one day maybe behind a cabinet or in the bottom of a drawer? We’ll have to see. But since then, there’s been a succession of silver necklaces. There was the four leaf clover charm that was brought for me by an ex I try not to think about, that got thrown into a bush in the middle of Hampshire when I found out he was cheating on me. There was the silver Alex Monroe coin charm which I brought with my first pay cheque after starting my first job that wasn’t for a recruitment agency. (I left that behind in the bedroom of a guy I had a one night stand with – wasn’t going back for it!) There was the small, dainty silver starling that I just brought because I loved it. (Chain broke – the charm was too small to fit onto another one).
If you read my last post about My Magic Necklace, you’ll know about my New Thing – which is to fight and resist my negative internal dialogue by forcing myself to think positive, lovely things. It’s all positive words, unicorns and rainbows for me from now on – I’m done with telling myself that I’m wrong, or ugly, or weird. I’m done with telling myself that I will fail, mess up and make a tit out of myself. It’s exhausting and pointless. It’s difficult to break a lifetime habit but I have to wake up every morning for the rest of my life and force myself to be nice and say kind things to myself, then so be it. I’m awesome, and everything in my life is awesome, and that’s the end of it.
Love yourself first, then everything else falls into line
– Lucille Ball
You get the general picture. I adore my current silver necklace, because it reminds me every day of my New Thing. It reminds me that the most important goal for me right now is to learn to love myself. I don’t care about loosing weight, I don’t care about persuading my boss to give me a pay rise, I don’t care about finding a boyfriend. Loving myself is the only thing I am striving for, because for years all I’ve done is judged my own self worth around how much other people love me. Which is why I’ve always been so devastated by the smallest rejection or the smallest criticism. I’ve been too dependent on other people to give me love, and it’s made me demanding. I’m hard work, especially in relationships with men. (Here we go, owning my stuff here people – whew it’s hard!)
I really think I’m on to something with my necklace, and if you think it might help you too then I’ve spent a whole evening browsing the internet (cup of tea to hand), looking for love tokens just like my necklace. I’ve sifted through all the crap out there, to bring you my favourite things. Incidentally, if I had worked for that pay rise, then I would have brought all of them.